When I was with child I was given I was given a ton of advice. Everything from how to burp my baby, how to feed him, how to find a good doctor to how to deal with getting no sleep was offered.
Suddenly after about a year into this "child rearing" thing, the advice began to wear off. This is about the time people begin to whisper. If they're whispering a lot, you can probably count on one thing... you're screwing it up!
There wasn't much whispering around these parts. In fact, there wasn't much of anything after a while. The advice stopped, the silence continued, and my child still grew.
So there I was one day just minding my own business when I began to notice a common theme. I began to forget things. I realized this was a problem because for the most part, I don't forget things.
I am a meticulous note taker. I have planners for my planners. There are calenders on the refrigerator, the kitchen wall, the office and my purse. And despite all this help, I still forgot things.
I once heard that a woman's brain actually shrinks during pregnancy. Whether that is true or not, my concern is not that it shrinks, but does it ever return back to actual size?
There's no science involved in that answer I'll let you know. It doesn't.
Because now, after I've given birth to two beautiful sons (who's names I can't remember...just kidding) I am truly dumbfounded.
Let me give you a few examples: The other day I put my coffee pot in the refrigerator after I filled my cup. A definite case of Momnesia. I couldn't find the thing until it was time to fetch Potter's lunch for school. Honestly, where does a whole pot of coffee go?
That may be where the list begins, but it certainly doesn't end there.
Just last week I was at the grocery store with the kids when an announcement came over the speaker: "Would the owner of a blue VW minivan please report to the parking lot; you left your hatch open."
"What?" I'm thinking. That can't be possible. I didn't even use the hatch. I swear the kids came out of their safety seats this time; not the trunk.
So out to the parking lot I trotted with 2 kids. Right after I left my large cart of groceries with customer service (luckily I remembered you can't wheel the groceries out before paying, even if you left your trunk open).
Another case of Momnesia.
Frankly, it's becoming scary. For safety sake I'm toying with the idea of getting a tattoo that reads: "Momnesia Victim. If I look lost, I probably am. Please return me promptly before I forget where I live."