The Notorious Button

Every now and again I go into that Mommy place of mine. The one where the world is still going on around me, but suddenly I get to pause for a moment. I would like to tell you that in these few moments that I do get for myself, I save space for only the greatest of thoughts. Right!

What's really going on in that head of mine you ask? Well, let me share a few nuggets from today:

1) How is it possible that everything made with peanut butter is being pulled off the shelves...except peanut butter?

2) Why is it when my dog is sick she suddenly mistakes my dining room carpet for grass?

3) If Cottenelles are really flushable, why doesn't the toilet flush after my 3 year old decides to use the whole box at once?

And that is just today folks!

So I'm wondering again. Not about peanut butter or dogs or even clogged toilets. This time it's about buttons.

Why buttons you ask? Well it's like this. Once upon a time buttons were those cute little things that held our sweaters together. They came in all shapes and sizes. Sometimes they would get tired and fall off, but our mom was right there to sew them back on.

There were other buttons of course. The famous belly button comes to mind. Some hang out, some stay in, some are sexy, and some should stay hidden by let's say, a sweater with lots of buttons.

Buttons in my house were typically forbidden. For whatever reason buttons are magnetic, but only attract one thing...children! Where there's a button, there's usually a child nearby with a finger ever so eager to push. Buttons are everywhere. From the elevator, to the remote, to the nurse call button....everywhere!

And now there seems to be the ever so famous blog button; a so called way of advertising yourself or a company you like by way of a cool logo usually found on the outskirts of your post. It's common now to "Grab" someones button. (Please do not try if it is actually sewn to their sweater) Grabbing involves a basic exchange of buttons so now your readers know "who" you read. (So Joan Rivers).

I'm not exactly sure where people learn to make buttons. Is it a God given gift? Must one attend classes? Is there a secret society? Seriously, I'm looking for an answer.

I proclaim to be a writer (maybe not the best) but a writer. I am not however techie in any way, shape or form. This blog only exist because I firmly believe it was a Mommy who wrote the step by step instructions that I so heavily relied on to get me through the process. I was a Girl Scout, but I must have missed the meeting on buttons. Who knew I would still be paying for that mistake.

So my dear Mommies, I am pleading, I would like to join the gang. I need your help. How did you make those cool buttons? Yes, I've googled, but nothing looks quite like some of the buttons that decorate your blogs. Anyone willing to help will get a huge shout-out, and of course a warm thank you.

A Mother's Stimulus Plan

If you have been paying attention to the news lately, you're probably breathing fire right about now. How many times just in this past month have we heard a story where companies who have received bail out money from the government are still spending like there's no tomorrow. It infuriates me to no end.

It usually takes a lot to get me upset, but I truly have an issue with irresponsibility; especially when we are in such a crisis. What is it going to take to get people to work as a group instead of an individual?

I figure it will be a while before the new administration is able to make a significant impact. (Although they are trying) In the time being, may I propose a few simple suggestions?

1) All Wall Street bonuses should be returned immediately. The money received will be evenly distributed among taxpayers to begin a college fund for your children. If you do not have children, you may make a donation in your name to a deserving child.

2) If your child becomes ill, and adequate medical care can not be found nearby, you and your child may have use of the Citi Group Corporate jet for your transportation needs. Free of charge of course! All expenses above and beyond your insurance coverage will be picked up by Sandy Weill.

3)John Thain, former chief executive of Merrill Lynch became famous for spending $1.2 million on decorating his office. Since he is out of a job and loves decorating so much, may I suggest he be put to work fixing some of our neighborhood playgrounds. (Sorry John, this is an unpaid position) Maybe Mr. Thain will have to learn to live on his savings (Like the rest of us).

4) Families who are generous enough to take in other families due to foreclosure will receive a discount on their taxes. (Good deeds should always be recognized).

5) Companies that distribute baby formula will have to follow the example of the automobile industry and begin to give discounts. I don't pretend to understand the ingredients in a can of formula. I just know that my instant ice tea mix is twice the size and 80% less the cost. (Something to ponder).

6) Finally, families who are having a tough time making ends meet are entitled to free financial classes. Your tickets will be distributed by former Chicago senator Rod Blagojevich. (See Rod, some seats aren't for sale!) Let's just call this one Karma.

As with most problems, when the going gets tough, the tough call their mothers. So it seems only fitting that this proposal be written by one. God Bless!