Monday, June 29, 2009

If God Wanted Something In That Hole; He Would Have Put It There Himself!

I am in awe over just how the male brain works. I guess if you ask one of them, they would probably give a similar answer about us females.

I am the proud mother of two little boys. Some days there are struggles, while other days go by like a breeze. No matter how the day is going, I have picked up a common theme. When a man finds a hole, there is a need to put something in it. As most of you have figured out by now this urge travels right into adulthood. Hence, the reason I now have two sons.

I recently took a trip into Potter's (the older son) room. I was asked if I could help him retrieve some Legos. Not a problem I thought. Then I was shown the point of origin. See Potter's bed was once a bunk bed, so there are now four post where the other bed fit on top. Inside the four post are four holes where the top bunk was attached. Guess where the Legos were?

Crammed deep inside a hole no bigger than the size of two fingers were a collection of red and blue Lego pieces. Next to the hole sat my little guy with that look of "My Mommy can do anything." Despite pulling out every tool known to man, I couldn't budge these Legos. While Potter was a little sad, he recovered quickly after finding another hole in our dining room.

Meanwhile, today while Scooter was in the playground, guess what he found? That's right, another hole. Not just one hole, but four holes. The holes were basically the size of half dollars. They are used for drainage on the play set when it rains. Apparently in a moment of genius he decided to cork the holes in an effort to create a mini spa on top of his play set. He removed the plastic spikes from the ground which are used to hold the tarp over their sandbox. Despite knowing he is not allowed to play with any type of spike, again, his need to fill a hole must have been much greater than his fear of his mother.

And even though those spikes were inserted with child like strength, they were not budging very easily. A trip to the garage allowed me to find the perfect tool. Two minutes later I returned with a metal putty knife....(don't ask).

A mother has the ability to turn any tool into a hammer. And believe you me, that's exactly what I did. With a little bit of strategy, I forced my 5 foot 8 inch frame into the 2 foot high kid fort. What next you ask? Well, shortly before losing consciousness, I banged the hell out of those stakes. And with a little help from Potter I finally removed the stakes from the holes. I would like to say that it was a magical moment. But that actually came after I removed my over sized Alice in Wonderland body from the "Play set of Terror."

As I've demonstrated, not every holey situation turns out the way we would like. My boys and I had a small pow-wow after this last catastrophe. It went a little like this:

"When one discovers a hole, whether in our home, in our yard, in our vehicle, or otherwise in this hemisphere, we will do our best to ignore the urge to stuff, wedge, thrust, drive, jam, pack, (or any other word which comes close to meaning destroy) any item, whether old or new, into a deep point of no-return. Because my children, when God makes a hole, it is his job, I repeat, his job to fill it!!!!!"


Jennifer said...

LOL! I'm starting to notice signs of my little one's interest with holes! I'm going to see if I can fill them now! ;-)

Jane In The Jungle said...

LOL, I had a post a few months ago about the BIG HOLE 2 of my 3 decided to dig in my's still there!

Shelly said...

LOL I have yet to figure out how the male brain works.

Mama Mel said...

Hi from SITS! So funny! My son likes to put his toys in small holes too! :) Have a great day!

Holly Noelle @ Domestic Dork said...

Hence the reason you have two sons!!! HA! Hilarious!

Sonia said...

LOL...hmmm, have you noticed that the holes came in four's??? Well, 1 son is enough for me, but having a girl isn't much easier! Just a whole lot of different drama!

BTW...yes, you should try camping one more time. But make sure there is grass at the campsight! Because the dirt really does suck!

Irishembi said...

You. Are. HILARIOUS!!!

Little boys and holes. You've got them pegged.

Donna Childree Gotlib said...

This was such a fun post - my first visit to your blog. I'll be back.

Native American Momma said...

That is one of those moments that nobody ever tells you about parenthood. "Your going to have to have an interesting discussion about holes". LOL