Sunday, November 22, 2009

And Then The Dog Ate My Pastry!

Six years ago I decided to have children. After discovering there was no direction manual, I almost threw in the towel. I mean for God sakes. Who gives you something that large and decides: "Just figure it out yourself." Even my Bow flex came with a video.

So I'm doing the best I know how, and whether that is good enough, only time will tell. I gathered the boys together this morning and headed to church. I thought this would be a good idea (since we had missed a few weeks). We quickly rehearsed the rules of church in the minivan. As we entered, I blessed myself with holy water, then moved aside so the boys could do the same. Potter did a fine job. Then it was Scooter's turn.

"I'm not sticking my hand in there," He said.

"It's holy water," I told him.

"Nope, I'm not doing it," He warned again.

For goodness sake. I don't know what got into the boy. The only thing I could figure was he saw a bowl of water and thought the next thing I was going to make him do was bathe. He can roll around in mud for hours, but let him see water in any other shape than a mud puddle, and he runs the other way.

Well, in a nutshell, that was the type of day it would be. All in all, this was one of their better days. With the week we have before us, my head is spinning as how we are going to complete our list.

I'm still trying to figure how I'm going to turn the dining room back into something I recognize. Yesterday, I hosted an Avon Open House. It turned out wonderful, but unfortunately it still resembles the likeness of a Macy's window display. "God, give me strength!"

While I was busy with customers, my sister decided it would be hysterical to change my screen saver into a picture of herself. Nothing like finding that image at 7am. And although I've tackled Bloggy Land with much vigor, I am a product of the 80's. Which basically means my computer skills came in the form of a game called PONG. There was a blinking square where my cursor left off, and my Radio Shack computer screen was absent of color. I didn't hear the word internet until I was almost out of college. If someone told me to click a mouse, I would tell them: "You click it first." Needless to say, my sister's picture may be a permanent addition to my computer.

When the kids finally went down for the night, I couldn't wait to get my hands on the left over pastry from yesterday. But as usual, my mind was in many places, and I forgot that I placed my pastry on the coffee table. (The same coffee table where Harley was sitting.)

Before I knew it; my pastry had been claimed. Claimed by an 11lb poodle mix. Probably 12 lbs. after that pastry.

Luckily, there was more. I'm currently trying to work off the pastry by typing at rapid speeds. Harley however has given in, and has slowly crept into a sugar coma.

Sweet dreams Harley Dog, Sweet Dreams!


Eva Gallant said...

I loved this skills consisted of a game called pong! Mine were even less...I learned to type on a Manual typewriter...that's before they made electric typewriters!

ethelmaepotter! said...

"Even my bow flex came with a video."
This is a hilarious post. I'm saving it to my favorites.

Lanie said...

Stopping in from SITS this morning to say hi. I am so glad I did! I thoroughly enjoyed reading this post. You have a great sense of humor. ~Lanie

Debbie said...

This was too funny! Yes, an instruction manual would be great. Plus, a money back guarantee.

Tammy Howard said...

Love that you'll probably leave the picture there. I would do exactly the same thing.

Anonymous said...

Oh, gosh...gotta love those days when you have to laugh to keep from going insane!!! One time, my DD was a terror all day. After dinner, went in my room to find it covered with baby powder. In the drawers, on the walls, on the bed, in my shoes. I just shut the door and slept on the know, I should probably clean that up!!! Kidding!