Tuesday, November 3, 2009

And If I Die Before I Wake.......

I'm not a huge Dr. Phil fan, but I once remember hearing him give very good advice. He said: "Do not marry a person until you see them sick." He then went on to explain that he wasn't talking about the common cold. What he meant was the sick where you become one with your pajamas, your hair is more matted than the dog, and your mouth and butt simultaneously take turns fighting for toilet time.

That was easy for me. Once I had children, I became a magnet for germs. I was like a walking case of Ebola. If the kids got it, so did I. As soon as I heard a cough come from one of their mouths, I began frantically searching for the safe room. Soon I realized there was no hiding. Apparently kid germs have a long incubation period, and all those kisses and hugs just add to anxiety.

One thing I noticed over the years was my husbands inability to catch a cold. Sure he's gotten a few, but nothing like the knock down drag out no-cure viruses I seem to catch. He's back on his feet in 24 hours.

I've seen the man vomit once during our tenure together. Let's just say there was no virus to blame. I found him the next day in our guest bedroom wrapped in my winter coat. Well, we were once young too. And there was a time that children were just a thought. My, how we've grown.

And then three days ago on Halloween, my husband mentions he doesn't feel well. He blamed it on all the running we were doing. We didn't get a chance to eat much, and before we knew it, it was time to take the children Trick or Treating.

But then it was Sunday. My husband looked the color of Elmer's Glue. I sprang into action: prescription, chicken soup, provide quiet time by taking children to Target with me. I figured he would be back on his feet in 24 hours.

No such luck. It's now Tuesday night. I've officially quarantined him to our bedroom. Something he is severely pee-owed about since I've been told the bedroom TV doesn't get the premium channels. (Obviously, that was my concern).

This is the first time in ten years that I've seen my husband this sick. Usually when I look like that I get to hear the famous words: "Man Up!" Generally the kids still find a way to their Mommy despite trails of vomit, beads of sweat, and a note to God written on her forehead: "Take Me Now!"

So Dear Hubby, as I get ready to go to bed tonight, I am tempted to roll over and tell you to "Man Up!" Instead, I will make sure you get to a doctors office tomorrow. I will make sure you take your medicine, stay hydrated, and get plenty of rest. I will roll those heavy trash cans down the driveway, take down the Halloween decorations, fill Avon orders, pack for the weekend craft show, make dinner, bathe children, feed children, dress children, bring and pick up children from school, take children to Karate, Prep, and swimming, supervise homework, read notes and sign paperwork. I will wash, fold and put away clothes. I will vacuum and mop after every spill. I will read stories, entertain and act like I enjoy every minute of it. Because the truth is....I do!

Those same 2 words I said to you seven years ago (In sickness and in Health).

By the way, when I'm on my death bed next week due to contamination issues, and you have no idea where to begin, refer to one paragraph up. That should get you started! Hope you feel well soon. I love you.


The OmniCouple said...

Stopping over from SITS!

That's good advice Dr. Phil gave. I don't get sick often, actally Scott doesn't either. We have seen eachother in the state you are describing your husband in, though. It can be hard for sure. I hope he gets well soon and that you don't actually get sick as a result of caring for him.

Everyday Mom Ideas said...

You have a great way with words. This is too funny. Im such a whimp when Im sick. My husband is more of a care giver than me. I know I need to "Man up"

great post!

ethelmaepotter! said...

Too funny! I do hope Dear Sick Hubby doesn't pass along his crud to you; because, when Mommy's down, the world comes to an end, and the world is such a big place to have to clean up when Mommy feels better!

Jen said...

My husband rarely gets sick, but his back goes out every.single.time.I do. Without fail. And he can't function, so guess who mans up? ;) Gahhhhh...

Alicia said...

oh man!!! i hope the hubs gets better soon and i hope this one passes you over! being a sick mommy is the WORST!! good luck!! fingers are crossed for you!

Karen said...

I hope your husband is feeling better, since this post is from a few days ago. It's taken me awhile to make the rounds, but I wanted to thank you for visiting me on my SITS day!