Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Has Anyone Seen My Ginko Biloba?

There are a lot of things I miss that I no longer have since I decided to have kids. But I think the thing I miss the most is my mind.

I shouldn't complain... I was warned. Well, sort of. I mean we've all heard of how women become forgetful when they're pregnant. I've heard that our brains actually shrink (This statement has not been approved by the FDA).

In any event, it so happens that what is lost is lost forever. Although I've tried to recapture that once youthful mind, it has refused to cooperate.

And so I'm left doing things like attempting to make coffee the other morning without water. (Even Juan Valdez himself would get a chuckle out of that one). And then there was the time I wasted wondering why my check for the American Express bill never cleared. Had it not been for that new purse I bought this week, I may never had realized that the stamped envelope was still waiting to be mailed by yours truly, and was filed nicely inside my wallet (Hello Late Fee).

So when Christina Aguilera flubbed the Star Spangled Banner at the Super Bowl this past week, I have to admit, I laughed a little. No wait, I laughed a lot.

I didn't bother ridiculing her like the rest of the world. Although a teleprompter may have been the way to go. While most of us can still remember Christina from her Mousekeeter Days, we have to admit that she is all grown up. And, she is a Mom. And we can only blame her forgetfulness on one thing: Brain Shrinkage!

And she wasn't the only one. In a bizarre attempt to copyright her own name, Mrs. Sarah Palin forgot to sign her own name to the bottom of the paperwork. Despite the irony, and the hundred or so Palin jokes that come to mind, it still comes back to the same reason: She's a Mom/Brain Shrinkage.

I've heard much about the supplement Ginko Biloba. Some research finds that it helps with forgetfulness. My recent issues with cerebral insufficiency have led me stumbling through medical journals and Googling words like: Brain Shrinkage, Blockhead and Charlie Brown. Despite whatever side effects may come along with this magical potion; I've realized I'm at the point of no return. Tomorrow becomes insufficient vocabulary if I can't remember today.

My only fear now? "Where did I put that bottle of Ginko Biloba?"

1 comment:

ethelmaepotter! said...

I was just finishing my comment when my computer literaly blew up! Just...POOF!...ands sparks and a puff of smoke blew out the side. So I have no idea if my previous comment actually made it.
I am now on our new laptop, which is incredibly difficult to navigate, but I guess I'll get used to it.
This post is just hilarious! And I can soooo identify. But don't get encouraged as your children grown older - I'm afraid the forgetfulness increases with time. By then, it can be blamed on stress brought on by teenage driving, dating, questionable friends, etc.
Let's face it - your memory's shot.
But you're in good company...with Christina Aguilerra and Sarah Palin.