Tuesday, June 22, 2010

It's Official; My Kid's Are Smarter Than Me


I consider myself to be of average intelligence. Like every other parent, I hoped that my children would one day grow up to be smarter than their Mom. I did not expect however that it would happen so early.


At ages 6 and 5, my children have turned into geniuses. This is the part where I guess I should break out my "Proud Mommy" shirt, but I must pause for a quick breath. For I realize sometimes the things we pray for are the exact things that will scare the hell out of us.


Take for instance the other day when I had to rent a car while my minivan was in the shop. As usual my children took the opportunity to beat on one another while I was forced to hold onto the wheel. I would glance into the rear view mirror only to find a flying arm, a hand full of hair and a child in a headlock. After a few threats and a million prayers for a Calgon, I decided to take it to the next step.


"If you boys don't quiet down now," I said. "I'm going to push the eject button."


All was quiet. So quiet in fact, I thought I may have been the first Mother to kill my children with a threat.


But not to worry. Like most pleasantries and tranquil moments in my life, they were quickly sucked out the window by the sound of laughter.

"This thing has an eject button?" The older one asked.

"Sure does." I said with complete certainty.

Again, silence. Then finally, my defeated moment began.

"Push it, Push it, Push it!" They yelled.

Car manufacturers should hang their heads low. For years their focus has surrounded such things as heated seats, anti lock brakes, video monitors and GPS systems. Had they only spoke to a Mom first.

8 comments:

Sarah said...

Haha. And don't we wish there were a few other buttons to help us through the day. :)

Cheryl said...

HA! They got you on that one. Because seriously? For those ages of boys? An eject button would be awesome!

ethelmaepotter! said...

Oh, they got you good! Your threats will all be empty from now on!

classycareergirl said...

Haha! That is a great idea! I am sure moms would pay lots for it!:)

Cid said...

Oh, I hear you. If only they had ejector seats my boys would be airborne and halfway to Kansas. Dropping by from SITS.

劉彥皓 said...

很喜歡你的部落格 留言支持你 祝你人氣長紅~~~......................................................................

陳隆 said...

一定要保持最佳狀況呦,加油!!!期待你發表的新文章!.................................................................                           

蔣筱芸 said...

一個人的價值,應該看他貢獻了什麼,而不是他取得了什麼.................................................................