Newbie Euphoria

I remember as a child when my Mom would get something new for the house. Oh, how she would light up. New pots and pans, new dish towels, a new bathroom curtain. And the list went on and on.

I'd often wonder why these things brought her such joy. Wouldn't she rather something like a brand new car? Surely that blue station wagon wasn't going to make another 100,000 miles.

Mom was an avid collector of S&H Greenstamps (these were very popular back in the day). I don't actually remember how or where these stamps came from. I just knew they had similar rules to that of Gremlins: 1) Don't get them wet, and 2)Watch out, they multiple like rabbits! For a few years in the 1970's I was totally convinced that my mother had purchased me with S&H Greenstamps. They were everywhere! And because they were in such abundance in my home, she was able to purchase me a brother and a sister as well.

Once the 1970's disappeared, so did S&H Greenstamps (or at least their popularity did). The new way to earn rewards was to jack up your credit card to 6 figures. You then might earn enough for a plane ticket that you could only use a few days a year, to go to only a few places, for only a few days with less than a few people. (Makes you want to pull that plastic out, now doesn't it?)

At the young age of 34, I finally understand what my mom was experiencing way back then. I returned from my Target Trip to find the Sears truck parked in front of my home. My new washer and dryer had arrived. It was all too exciting. I was suffering from Newbie Euphoria.

I entered my home only to find a look of disgust on my husbands face.

"What was going on," I wondered. Did they bring the wrong model? The wrong color? The wrong appliance?

"The dryer doesn't get hot," Hubby said.

Well, now that's different, I thought. These new front loaders are quite miraculous. Somehow in my mind I figured anything that spung around at 100 mph long enough would eventually dry. "Heat? We don't need no stinking heat!" Maybe it's a green dryer. A clothesline wrapped in a pretty box.

Anyway, Sears will again be here tomorrow....with another new dryer. It's unlikely that I'll experience another case of Newbie Euphoria. Although I only owned that heatless dryer for less than 24 hours; it seems like it's been here for years. It tried it's best, but just couldn't keep up.

That's me at the window waving. Goodbye old(new) friend, Goodbye.