I'm Onto You....Publisher's Clearing House!

The normal stuff came in the mail yesterday: bills, fliers, and magazines promoting gadgets I'll never use. Then of course there was the famous "Yellow Envelope."

I don't remember the envelope always being yellow. In fact, as a child I remember a large brown envelope with the faces of Dick Clark and Ed Mcmahon pasted on the front. Who couldn't trust those guys?

For the past year these yellow envelopes have been plaguing my mailbox. In fact, I sometimes get a letter days before that warn me not to throw the envelope out. Now that's advertising.

So like the sport I am, I delve into the stack of papers found inside. In a nutshell, it's a smaller version of all the crap magazines that go directly into the recycling bin. Everything from Wonder Hangers, Wonder Bras, to Wonder Purses. Honestly, it all makes me wonder.

Wrapped nicely within all the "wonderful" things are the directions and a lovely letter. The letter tells me that the famous Prize Patrol will definitely be in my local TV area on November 11th to award the $10,000 prize or a $1,000,000 prize.

So which one is it boys? Both prizes sound nice, but you must admit,there is a large difference between the two. Winning the first would definitely excite me. I may take a few pictures, pay a few bills, and get a small write up in the local paper. The second prize however would require the TIKI bar to be pulled onto the front lawn, a bullhorn to notify the neighbors I'm moving, and maybe a bit of streaking down the middle of my street.(Hey, I have bail money now!)

If you're lucky enough to find one of these envelopes lurking in your mailbox let me be the first to warn you to set aside a good hour. It takes at least that long to find all those darn stickers that need to be affixed to the "alleged winning envelope."

Don't forget to order something. I mean technically they tell you that you're chances are no better than someone who does order. But really, what would it hurt? As I was looking at all the fabulous junk, Scooter spilled his cup of chocolate milk. Not a little spill mind you. The whole 8ozs. And then, he just sat in the mess. If I only had an 8 pack of Sham Wow's.

Wait just a darn minute! Where's that sticker? I'm a lucky girl today. A very lucky girl!