No Honey, I Didn't Make National News!

You may have to revisit yesterdays post to completely understand what happened today. In a nutshell, while vacuuming my mini-van my scarf accidentally was sucked from my neck leaving me in a temporary panic.

Not to worry. Despite the lack of telephone booths, I was still able to go into Super Mommy Mode and save myself. Thanks to all who left comments. It's nice to know my pain is shared and laughed at by the rest of the world.

O.K. then. Fast forward 24 hours. Phone Rings. It's Hubby.

"Oh thank God you answered," he says.

"Our three year old is to short to reach the phone," I reply.

"I just read an article on CNN.com. It's about a girl who got stuck in the car wash when one of the machines grabbed the scarf from her neck."

"Shut Up," I say.

"Seriously, I thought about what happened to you yesterday, and..."

"You thought I went back for some more?" "My God, what's wrong with you?"

"Anyway, you're fine," he says with incredible admiration. (Made up that part)

"I'm O.K." "Wait a minute, if she was in her car, how did the machine grab her scarf?"

"She wasn't in her car, she works there."

"Oh, I thought I had a bad day yesterday." "Anyway, thanks for caring honey, luv ya!"

Note to self: Future car cleanings will take place in the driveway. Future phone calls from Hubby will be screened for sarcasm.

Warning: Do Not Vacuum Your Car While Wearing A Scarf!

I think my voice took off today. You know, that voice that whispers to you right before you dive into something stupid (with both feet).

So there I was this morning at the gas station with Scooter waiting patiently in his car seat. With all the bad weather we've had lately, the inside of our minivan was beginning to resemble the Rocky Mountains. The pebbles and rocks that had been stuck in the bottom of our shoes now found their way onto the carpet. I had put it off long enough, so I decided today would be the day I vacuumed the inside of my van.

I had forgotten that apparently there is some unwritten rule about dress code before you begin vacuuming the inside of your car. Let's just say, one should not be wearing a scarf.

You can probably guess where this story is going, although it happened so fast, my reaction time was a bit slow. I never saw my scarf go up into the vacuum. There was just a terrible sound, then a tight hold around my neck.

"Oh my God," I yelled.

"Mommy, the vacuum is eating your scarf," Scooter screamed.

"Mommy is O.K, Scooter," I yelled back. I quickly began to rescue myself from the possessed hose which had an obvious appetite for pretty accessories.

"Mommy, the vacuum is eating your Target bag now!"

"Dear Lord," I thought to myself. "Could you please help me out here?"

Just then a stranger pulled up. "Could you tell me where the Warminster Diner is?"

"Are you flipping kidding me," I thought. I just got done rescuing my scarf and purchases from a vacuum, and now you want me to give you directions?

"It's over there," I shouted.

Finally my five minutes had passed and the vacuum saga came to an end.

I have recently been thinking about reentering the work force. But let's be serious, my days won't be half as exciting as they are now.