Advice For A New Bride and Groom

This weekend will mark a new milestone for our family. On Saturday at 2:30 in the afternoon, my brother will become a husband.

We've anxiously waited for this day to arrive. Although only a year separates the two of us, it sometimes feels as if we were born light years apart. My brother, the ever joking, never serious, daredevil, prankster of a man he is, has finally decided to share his life with someone.

Not just any someone though. Sometime around four years ago at my Christmas Party my brother walked in with Jennifer. It was our first meeting. It's always hard to get a good feel for people during these family functions. As I made my way that night trying my best to talk to everyone, I wondered just how this woman fit into my brother's life. Was she just a friend? A date for the night? Or was she someone very special?

Jen, you may not know about this part. But as the night was winding down and I walked my brother to get your coats, he asked me: "So what do you think?"

My initial thought was "What do I think about what?" I had no idea what he was referring to.

"What do you think of Jennifer?", he asked.

I knew immediately that she was different. "Why?", you ask.

Well in all the years that I've known my brother, he had never once asked what I thought about the woman he was dating. The fact that he cared so much about my opinion, meant more to me than any answer I could have given. By the way, I thought she was perfect for him.

In only a few months Hubby and I will be celebrating 7 years together. I hardly proclaim to be any type of expert on marriage. However, I would like to share some of the highlights that I believe have helped encourage us to enjoy every moment we have together.

1) No matter which way you look at it, marriage is a job. When you treat it like a job you give 100%. When you begin treating it like a chore, you become lazy. Claim to each other that it is the best job you've ever been hired to do. And do it!

2) Hold on to each other during the good times. Hold tighter during the bad.

3) During rough patches, pull out your wedding album. This simple step will remind you why you made this decision in the first place. It will also remind you of all the other people who thought that decision was a good one.

4) Surround yourselves with people who love both of you (not just one).

5) Celebrate birthdays, anniversaries, new jobs, promotions, and family.

6) Surprise one another.

7) Compliment one another.

8) No matter how tired you are, allow at least 20 minutes to discuss your day with one another. There may not be a tomorrow to give you that chance.

9) Say I love you everyday. Hold each other every night.

10) Share the responsibility of raising children.

11) Never call each other by any other name than the one they were born with. Arguments frequently have an ending; memories last forever.

12) Believe in romance and Happily Ever After.

This is obviously the short list. I use some of these tips on a daily basis, and like most people, I screw up. Don't be afraid of mistakes, you'll make them.

I want to say how very happy I am for you both. I wish you many years, and I look forward to this coming Saturday. I'll bring the tissues.

Love, Mary

Yes, I Febrezed My Baby!

Motherhood: A milestone in ones life that said one has chosen for themselves but eventually realizes that despite numerous tips and or advice given by friends, family and loved ones; nothing will prepare you for the everyday chaos which now ensues your life.

Since we will all be celebrating Mother's Day this coming weekend, I thought it only appropriate to also celebrate the laughter that comes with being a Mom.

Whether you're a true blue novice or a polished authority, one thing remains true: There are no instruction manuals for motherhood. Advice will come in many forms: a best friend, an in law, a Hallmark card, a Lifetime Original Movie or even your own mother. Buyer Beware! Remember the dress that you rushed to the store to buy because it looked absolutely gorgeous on the model? Disappointment set in quickly when after trying it on you realized you may own the dress now, but you certainly don't own the dimensions of that model. It goes to show you, what may work for one person doesn't necessarily work for everyone else.

Advice is certainly not a bad thing. It has been used in many instances in this household. The day my son had a massive nose bleed, I sought advice.The day I thought I wanted to return to work, I sought advice. And the day the wheel flew off the stroller, I sought advice. Sometimes advice plays hide and seek while other days it stares you right in the face. Other times, it is no where to be found.

The last example brings me to a time several years back. My older son was still having problems with his digestive system. We were unsure if this stemmed from him being a preemie. After eating he would often regurgitate his food. Sometimes it would be the whole meal, other times just a little would come out. He also very often choked on his food. This led to performing the Heimlich maneuver more than once.

As with most crisis in one's home, you tend to get use to the daily chaos. After dressing my son in the morning, I would generally grab another pair of clothes for him just in case I couldn't catch the vomit (that's right folks, I caught it).

During this particular time, I was teaching, so the mornings were even more hectic when things didn't exactly fall into place. As usual, my son began to vomit. I caught a few drops, but the rest made it on his outfit. All right I thought, I'll just change him. And so I did. And so he repeated the process. "Unbelievable," I thought out loud. And so I changed him again.

The rest of the morning went fine until we reached the door to leave. That's when, despite there being no chance in hell that there could be any food left in my sons stomach; he found some. And because my hands were filled with a briefcase and a little brother, I missed that curve ball. And there it was, sliding down his new outfit. I was about to throw in the towel when I was hit with a bright idea.

Just beyond my vomit covered son was our laundry room. And sitting right on top of the washer was a bottle of Febreze. It was my lucky day! I quickly put down little brother and ran to get a wet rag. After all traces of scrambled eggs and toast were removed from his face and clothes, I began the process. Yes, I Febrezed my baby!

It's funny how one will react during a crisis situation. Although my heart was palpitating beyond normal levels, I tried to remain calm. And I did it all without any advice. Maybe this isn't the best of examples to point out, but it is certainly one of the funniest.

I was reminded the rest of that day what I had done due to the sweet smell of mixed vomit and the New and Improved Odor Eliminating Formula of Extra Strength Febreze which left it's trail everywhere from the minivan to my own clothes. (Odor eliminating my *%^#$@).

And so now I would like to raise a glass to Motherhood. For those of us that brave the front lines day after day. For those of you who can catch vomit with one hand. And finally for those of you who may have chosen to change your child one last time before reaching for a bottle of Febreze.

This one's for you!