I Met The Pilates Gods

No, I'm not kidding. Last night, my gym had a get acquainted night for members who wanted to learn more about their new Pilate's program.

As usual, I was early, so I was quickly greeted by the three most healthy people I had ever seen. And with my usual humor I couldn't help but ask: "How long before I get to look like you?" Well, that gave them all a laugh. But I was serious. I was ready to sign.

They were eager to show me the equipment, which I must warn you, I swear I saw in Silence of the Lambs. It's not exactly user-friendly. Unless of course you already belong to the Pilate's God Group. (I do not).

Before I knew it, my legs were in straps and my buttocks was gliding along a platform with wheels. There were pulleys, harnesses, and handles. One bad move and I thought I could easily be shot right into the pool.

On top of that shocking experience, I come to find out that the Pilate's Classes do not fall under my membership. I have to pay extra....Bummer!

So I'm left with a dilemma of some sort. Do I continue to do what I've been doing? Or do I jump in (glide) with both feet and try something new. I must say it beats those aerobic classes where everyone is huffing and puffing, anxiously looking for their asthma inhalers. And of course it beats running on the treadmill for a mile (Which believe me, I did the other day). I swore that my insides were sure to come detached, and smack against the wall behind me. What a sight that would have been.

I guess I've already made my decision. It's Pilate's Time!

Ooops I Did It Again!

So I arrived home about 9pm last night after sitting with my writer’s critique group. I joined the group just over a year ago now. They are a wonderful group of women who have helped me strengthen my writing skills which will hopefully lead to published work someday.
Since Hubby was still busy with work stuff I decided to head up to the bedroom and watch some television. I was hoping for a comedy or something of the sort. It’s funny how one can get lost in no man’s land with just a few clicks of the remote control. One minute you’re learning a new recipe from Rachel Ray, the next minute you’re traveling Italy with Samantha Brown.

Despite all the wonderful shows my T.V. had to offer, I couldn't help myself. There I was on The Home Shopping Network (again). I usually watch these broadcasting gems after Hubby goes to sleep. Sometimes they even help lull me to sleep. But every now and again the vortex catches me. My inner Jiminey Cricket screams “Don’t do it, Mary!” But I can’t help myself.

A few days before I was flipping through the channels, and of course there I landed on The Home Shopping Network again. They were advertising a Pilate's Machine. I didn’t really need a Pilate's Machine, but there was something about this particular one that kept my interest. So I watched and watched. Something like 200 exercises could be performed on this machine. “How awesome,” I thought. Just then Jiminey knocked me out of my Pilate's trance, and brought me back to reality….just before I dialed the order center.

So, back where I left off…the bedroom watching the Home Shopping Network. And wouldn’t you know it, that darn Pilate's Machine was being sold once again. It was an omen! Jiminey tried to stop me, but I ignored his pleas. Minimize blog window; bring up Home Shopping Network. Shh! There it was on my computer screen in bright color. "Must be mine," I said out loud. And before I could blink an eye the mouse scrolled over the word checkout. "Oops, I did it again!"
My obsession with work-out equipment started at a young age and till this day my basement resembles the likes of Bally's, L.A. Fitness, and Fat Camp all wrapped into one. I would like to brag about how in shape I am. The truth: My addiction to Dunkin Doughnuts coffee and muffins has no doubt unleashed a dragon of cholesterol havoc through my blood stream. We won't even begin to talk about what it has done to my backside.

So, will I use this new machine that I am so excitingly anticipating from Mr. Fed Ex? Well, I guess we're just going to have to wait and see. I have to fit into my bridesmaid dress for my brothers wedding in about a month from now, so I think that will definitely be my inspiration. And before you know it, it will be bathing suit season. (Dear God?!?!)

For now I have decided to watch the Disney Channel with Scooter. It will keep me safe from that Home Shopping Network. If only there was a buffer between me and Dunkin Doughnuts.