Warning: Do Not Vacuum Your Car While Wearing A Scarf!

I think my voice took off today. You know, that voice that whispers to you right before you dive into something stupid (with both feet).

So there I was this morning at the gas station with Scooter waiting patiently in his car seat. With all the bad weather we've had lately, the inside of our minivan was beginning to resemble the Rocky Mountains. The pebbles and rocks that had been stuck in the bottom of our shoes now found their way onto the carpet. I had put it off long enough, so I decided today would be the day I vacuumed the inside of my van.

I had forgotten that apparently there is some unwritten rule about dress code before you begin vacuuming the inside of your car. Let's just say, one should not be wearing a scarf.

You can probably guess where this story is going, although it happened so fast, my reaction time was a bit slow. I never saw my scarf go up into the vacuum. There was just a terrible sound, then a tight hold around my neck.

"Oh my God," I yelled.

"Mommy, the vacuum is eating your scarf," Scooter screamed.

"Mommy is O.K, Scooter," I yelled back. I quickly began to rescue myself from the possessed hose which had an obvious appetite for pretty accessories.

"Mommy, the vacuum is eating your Target bag now!"

"Dear Lord," I thought to myself. "Could you please help me out here?"

Just then a stranger pulled up. "Could you tell me where the Warminster Diner is?"

"Are you flipping kidding me," I thought. I just got done rescuing my scarf and purchases from a vacuum, and now you want me to give you directions?

"It's over there," I shouted.

Finally my five minutes had passed and the vacuum saga came to an end.

I have recently been thinking about reentering the work force. But let's be serious, my days won't be half as exciting as they are now.