Does Anyone Have Directions?

In an ever changing world, I get that technology is a necessity. But honestly, I've had it! "Up to here I say!"

I consider myself a fairly intelligent person, but I'm done with buying new gadgets that have direction manuals the size of War and Peace, or better yet, no directions at all.

Case in point was the lovely IPOD I received for Christmas. While I never asked for an IPOD (at least I don't remember doing so) I think it's a pretty neat gadget. As excited as I was to receive my new toy, I noticed one thing missing from the box. I guess the Apple people thought that the directions could be condensed on that cute little insert they included. I found that same insert (different wording of course) in that pregnancy test box I bought in "03." Yeah, that one got me thinking too.

Apparently, for most of these gadgets, you don't need directions. If you play with something long enough, eventually you'll figure it out. That rule of course only applies to the over thirty crew. Those under thirty have graciously been born with some invisible chip in their brain that allows them to figure out any gadget known to man in less time than it takes to microwave a bag of popcorn.

I've witnessed it first hand. Did you see the girl on the news two weeks ago who won the texting competition? Fifteen year old Kate Moore was awarded $50,000 after texting over 14,000 messages. Seriously, have you ever? Hopefully, Ms. Moore will be saving that valuable cash for a good college. If that's not in the cards, I'm sure she'll be offered a terrific secretarial position.

You're sure to know when you've received a text from yours truly. It's riddled with misspellings and punctuation errors. I can't seem to get my darn fingers in those strange positions. Go ahead, send me a text,I dare you. You'll be waiting and waiting for a reply. Until my cell phone comes equipped with a full size keyboard, I'll just call you direct if you don't mind.

Just before I started writing this post I attempted to transfer some money from a popular on line banking company. I've used this company for quite a few years. I think it was shortly after I received the "Don't be afraid of technology speech" from Hubby again. That man moves as swiftly through the Internet as a virus. I just don't understand.

Anyway, I started to get these messages like: "We don't recognize this computer," and "please answer some security questions." Fine, I complied. The computer then went into thinking mode. I mean deep thinking mode. I mean coma, straight line, do not resuscitate mode!

Needless to say, as I punch away at these keys my bank is probably having a field day adding up the many late fees and over draft charges that are currently accruing.

By this time tomorrow, the only thing left to name will be my IPOD. Great! Does anyone have directions?