Size Really Does Matter

Sometimes we learn from our mistakes, and sometimes, like this past weekend, we repeat them. And of course, the one I chose to repeat was the same exact one that caused the only fight my husband and I ever had. Sure, we argue like every other couple, but this was a little different. It really comes down to me insisting that I was right, and no matter how many times I was told, I wouldn't listen.

It was Christmas 2000. We stood in Sears picking out our first Christmas tree. I came prepared with all necessary measurements. In no time I had found the perfect tree. Hubby liked it, but warned me it wouldn't fit.

"Wouldn't fit," I thought. I have the sheet right here. "Sure it will fit."

So like the loving husband he is, I got to take that tree home. And like the loving husband he is, he didn't immediately scream when the branches wouldn't unfold. Instead, he lovingly changed the original plans and moved the tree to the dining room.

See, when I took the measurements, I mistakenly measured height only, and I forgot to measure the width. I know how stupid this sounds, but really, it's not like it was a table. It was a Christmas tree for God's sake.

Every Christmas season now, Hubby shares that story with our guest. I guess half the reason is because we still own that tree. I get it, I messed up, but I really picked out a gorgeous tree.

Fast forward to present day. So there I stood in Raymour and Flannigan starring at this beautiful breakfast table. Did I really need a new one right now? The truth is no. The old one wasn't broken...just ugly. I had my measurement sheet ready. There was even a red tag sale.

And then I made the call.

Me- "Hi, Hunny. You won't believe this beautiful table I found for the breakfast area."

Him- "Did you measure?"

Me- "Of course I measured. I'm holding the paper right here in my hand."

Him- "Do we need a new breakfast table right now?"

Me- (Pause) "I guess not. It's just the one we have is really small."

Him- "You can get it if you think we need it."

Me- (Thinking to myself: I'm being tested, should I really buy this?) "Thank You!!!!"

Him- "You measured, right?"

Folks, if you ever decide to buy a piece of furniture that your not sure your spouse will like do what I did: Go out for the day.

I figured by the time I returned, whatever bad feelings he may have had will have certainly been forgotten by that night.

In I walked, and there it stood. Funny, it didn't look that large at the store. But gosh, it really was a beautiful table.

In walks Hubby. He has half a smile on his face. "You measured, right?" he asked.

"Of course I measured. I even measured the width this time."

"Did you take into account that you would have to pull out the chairs to sit at that grand table?"

(Me- pausing again. Unsure of my next line. I knew whatever I said, I was going to be in trouble.)

Hubby- Giggles.

It's funny how well this man knows me. He did tell me later how much he likes the table, but that it is a little large. I agreed.

Lessons Learned:

1)One should not send a person who was asked to join a creative writing class, but who failed to make the mark in their math class into a furniture store with measurements.

2) Marry a wonderful person who enjoys laughing at your quirkiness.

3) Most Importantly Remember: Size Does Matter!