Search If You Will, But You Won't Find These Things On My Blog

"Hi, My name is Mary, and I've been blogging for six months now." (Hi, Mary!)

During the small time in which I've belonged to the so called blogosphere I've had a chance to visit hundreds of blogs. I have been inspired, entertained, educated, grossed-out, and at times disgusted. But that is all part of the game. Some days I'm truly amazed at what one will write. On other days, I wished they had revealed a little more.

This little bit of wonderment got me thinking the other day. For the handful of you that may have purposely or mistakenly pushed my Follow Me button; you probably already know what to expect from me. However, to make it fair for those who may just be passing by via a blog directory or a misdirection from a friendly search engine; I thought it would only be right to give you a list of things that you will most likely never find on my blog. I use the words most likely to indicate that I am a woman and due to the changes which we experience during our lives we sometimes feel the need to change our minds. So for the purpose of this post, most likely will be legal and binding.

Rule #1- No Bows. Despite being described as "girly girly," you will find no bows, lace, or doilies on this blog. I am the proud mother of 2 growing boys. I get to see them clean once a day (after their baths). Let's face it, they weren't even clean when they came out of me, so why start now. My blog is a reflection of me and my family. A girly blog would just represent me. One day all the testosterone will leave for college, and I will accept a blogging job with AARP. Until then, no bows.

Rule#2- No Potty Mouth. Once upon a time I worked in a male dominated field, and boy could I keep up with the best of them. As I got older, I have realized that Potty Mouth is not always an accepted custom. It does get ones attention, and if attention is what you seek, then by all means curse until you're blue in the face. Just remember, every potty needs to be cleaned once in a while. For best results: swish sweet words daily and flush those Freudian Slips. There will be no WTF'S?, C words, P words, or S words. Now that I've eliminated 5 letters, I have just 21 letters left. I'm sure I can find something to say. If your blog contains any of these words, not to worry, I will still visit. I just won't be reading aloud.

Rule#3- No Pictures of the Kiddies. As I continue the relentless job of trying to convince my children that there are no monsters under the bed, I have yet to convince myself that they don't exist in other places. The world is a scary place sometimes, and while I enjoy sharing daily essays; pictures of my children will stay securely in my wallet and my heart. You will just have to take my word for it...they are adorable!

Rule#4- No Grabbing My Button. Boy have times changed. If I tried to grab anything as a child, my hand was slapped. Now people are advertising Grabbing! What's next? Poking? Maybe prodding? I suppose everything has it's place. It's just not my blog. It's a cute concept, but if you want to know the honest truth, I have no idea how it is done. As you can tell, my blog is very home made. It's crossed my mind a few times to pay for a new design, but I have this fear that once I'm handed back the reigns, I will no longer know what to do. I will need to sign up for Super Blogger classes, and take extensive notes on tags, buttons, headers, blinkies, etc. etc. I'll save that job for you professionals out there.

Rule #5- No Negativity. Like everyone else, I have woken up on the wrong side of the bed. And on those very days I do you all a favor. I keep my computer shut off. I'm for the old saying: "If you can't say something nice, don't type." Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but once a word is spoken out loud, you can't take it back. Be careful what you write, and who you write about. I feel honored to have followers, and for that reason, I will never use this platform to degrade or undermine anyone.

Rule#6- A Word About Awards. Ten years of my childhood were spent as a cheerleader. At the end of every year we were awarded our trophies. The year we went to the championship, I came home with a trophy half the size of my leg. If you were to ask me where all these awards are today, I would honestly answer in the landfill. It was before "going green" was a trend, so unfortunately they were not recycled. I feel the same today as I did back then. Awards take up a lot of space. You have to constantly make room for them, and eventually that room runs out. I share these thoughts with a wonderful friend blogger Kathy B at The World According to Me, who wrote a terrific post on this very subject titled Secret Blogger Code. Please make sure to stop by. I am always excited when someone acknowledges my work, whether they agree or not. I think it's important to make an effort to say thank you. If you enjoy reading my blog, a simple comment is fine. I won't be waiting for an award.

Rule #7- Rambling. I do not, have not, nor do I ever want to consider my blog rambling. The very definition of the word means aimless, and that is hardly what I am about. I like having a point to every post. I try to be organized, concise and honest when I write. The other 22 hours is another story.

One Last Word. Now that you know all the things you won't find on this blog, I hope you found what you came for. Hopefully you'll stick around for a while. Don't forget to leave a comment. I'll drop by soon to see what you're talking about.